It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
