Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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