ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize