He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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