I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
