So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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