Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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