i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize