She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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