I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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