So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
