o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's like God shit irony all over that family
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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