The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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