fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
