I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
do herpes really smell.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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