so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
