dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
