The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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