so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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