Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
