No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
