If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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