Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
