Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
