Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
