fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
