mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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