I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
