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there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
