After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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