It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
