I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
