i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
