Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We got so high we made milksteak
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Randomize
