Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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