"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
