Christians are straight up FREAKS
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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