she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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