You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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