He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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