WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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