I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
