found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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