plz talk dirty to me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We need to rekindle our bromance
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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