I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
