What a fucking waste of an outfit
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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