i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
