11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize