Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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