My first STD was from a foam party
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize