when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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