Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
