i jhust puked up my retainher.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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