Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
