Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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