Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
