yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
