Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
